If you’ve followed celebrity divorces over the past 30 years, you’ve probably caught a glimpse of Laura Wasser’s career.
Mr. Wasser, a divorce attorney at Wasser, Cooperman & Mandles and head of evolution at Divorce.com, represents Kim Kardashian, Britney Spears and Ariana Grande.
Celebrity divorces aren’t all that different from divorces for ordinary people, she says.
“I always say divorce is the great equalizer,” Wasser says. “People go through the same fear and heartache, whether they’re famous or not.”
The most common reasons people choose to break up a union, famous or unknown, are also the same.
“The reason people get divorced is because they can’t communicate,” Wasser said.
This problem can manifest itself in infidelity or unhealthy drinking habits, for example, but a lack of communication skills is usually the root of the problem.
Many partners who choose to marry never survive long periods of discomfort.
“When things are going well, we haven’t developed communication tools, so when things aren’t going well, we tend to not have the ability or means to talk about it,” she says.
She says there are many “not-so-sexy” conversations couples should have before getting married.
Is it important to send children to private school? Is it okay for parents to live together in old age?
These discussions aren’t fun, but if you two can’t agree, it can save you money and heartache down the road.
People’s needs can also change over the course of a marriage, which is when good communication is key.
“It’s hard to say, ‘I’m older and it doesn’t appeal to me anymore,'” Wasser says.
However, if your partner is unaware of your feelings, it is inevitable that they will not meet your needs and you will be unhappy.
“Resentment builds up and you spend your energy doing other things,” Wasser says.
Having tough conversations before marriage or early in your marriage can help you develop healthy communication habits that will better serve you and your partner.
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